Just when you feel like things are going great, something has to happen to make you feel like all that you've done was all for naught. You probably feel cheated and ripped off, but you still carry your balls around and do your duty.
Not because of some carrot on a stick hanging in front of you, but because of a sense of duty and a responsibility that the lives of people may or may not indirectly be placed upon your shoulders- and the people at the top make use of that to screw you as many times as they like, simply because they know you will still go back and serve your country.
Given a choice, nobody in their right mind would volunteer their services and time for such a measly pay. But since we're doing it, we might as well do it properly.
But why must they make it so difficult for us to do our job properly? Why must they carve away our enthusiasm to serve and expect us to still do so because we have a responsibility to do so?
Why can't they put themselves in our shoes PROPERLY before deciding on actions that have such far-reaching effects?
Can't they see that they are simply shooting themselves in the foot by creating the sense of low morale in their men?
They can't see because nothing bad is happening.
And nothing bad is happening because no matter how fucked we feel, we still carry out our duty because the people we care about have placed their faith in us.
I'm just saying.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
how am i supposed to reply when you tell me when you are alone all you can think about is him, because when I am alone all i can think about is you instead? I'm affected and I can't work properly when I see you like this and I can't do anything in my power to console you simply because I don't want to hurt the status quo.
how am i supposed to reply that it hurts when you brush it off as nothing when i say it to you candidly after thinking for ten minutes on whether i should say it or not?
how am i supposed to tell you that?
how am i supposed to reply that it hurts when you brush it off as nothing when i say it to you candidly after thinking for ten minutes on whether i should say it or not?
how am i supposed to tell you that?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
POP LO!
Yeah I realised that I haven't been posting here for quite some time. Couple of things happened, finally finished 3 months of training at tekong, and now i'm just waiting for my posting to be available on friday.
Something that i wrote when i was bored.
Flight.
I stared into the clear sky while thinking to myself; “How ironic. This is just pathetic.”
The sky couldn’t be a better indicator of how I felt my life was. Turns out it really couldn’t at all.
A gentle gush of wind blows straight into my face. The wind howls past my ears as if trying to whisper something into my ear; but I cannot make out what it is trying to say. If I had to use a word to describle the voice of the wind at that exact moment, it would be panic. I’ve had enough.
The wind stops, as if rhythmically to allow a moment for me to think about what to do next. I close my eyes. “ Are you holding your breath, eagerly waiting for my next action?” I think to myself.
I take a deep breath in and open my eyes. The wind comes back, even stronger this time.
“I guess now you just want me to do it huh?” The wind was irritating. Ignoring it, I place both my hands on the cold metal rod in front of me. I started to breathe through my mouth to find a suitable pace to breathe at, preparing myself for it.
In one instant, I pushed my body up using my hands and kicked my right foot over the railing. My hands started to shake as I felt myself getting unbalanced and my eyes opened wider. Soon I was able to get my other leg over and I found myself sitting on the railing. “Now I’m ready.” I thought to myself. At least I thought so.
My hands continued to hold on to the railings despite them starting to sweat profusely. I pretended not to notice and focused on what I had to do next. Inch by inch I lifted my body up a little so my bottom would move further and further away from the railing. I couldn’t keep my eyes focused anymore. I started to look around, look behind me, as if there were someone behind me, watching my every move. I felt like a criminal just about to commit another crime. My eyes were darting everywhere, everywhere but down. I knew I couldn’t continue if I looked down. I looked up again. What a clear sky. How ironic.
The trembling in my hands subsided. However my bottom was starting to go numb at this point. My elbows bent a little, as if storing energy for one last push. I took another deep breath. I tried to put my feet near the wall so I could use them to propel myself further away as well.
“I hope I have another great life” I said to myself, and pushed myself off. Or at least that was what I would have done. I….
I couldn’t hold my pen any longer. The shaking in my hands was getting worse and I could feel my vision getting blurry. There was an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I felt it gnaw its way up my throat and to my mouth. My guts felt like they were tying themselves up and I felt an immerse pain in my body.
I saw a white light and thought to myself for the last time;
“I was always too much of a coward to die by jumping off a building.” before falling to the ground and laying there motionless, undignified as vomit and foam started to pour out of my mouth.
I didn’t want to live this life either way.
Something that i wrote when i was bored.
Flight.
I stared into the clear sky while thinking to myself; “How ironic. This is just pathetic.”
The sky couldn’t be a better indicator of how I felt my life was. Turns out it really couldn’t at all.
A gentle gush of wind blows straight into my face. The wind howls past my ears as if trying to whisper something into my ear; but I cannot make out what it is trying to say. If I had to use a word to describle the voice of the wind at that exact moment, it would be panic. I’ve had enough.
The wind stops, as if rhythmically to allow a moment for me to think about what to do next. I close my eyes. “ Are you holding your breath, eagerly waiting for my next action?” I think to myself.
I take a deep breath in and open my eyes. The wind comes back, even stronger this time.
“I guess now you just want me to do it huh?” The wind was irritating. Ignoring it, I place both my hands on the cold metal rod in front of me. I started to breathe through my mouth to find a suitable pace to breathe at, preparing myself for it.
In one instant, I pushed my body up using my hands and kicked my right foot over the railing. My hands started to shake as I felt myself getting unbalanced and my eyes opened wider. Soon I was able to get my other leg over and I found myself sitting on the railing. “Now I’m ready.” I thought to myself. At least I thought so.
My hands continued to hold on to the railings despite them starting to sweat profusely. I pretended not to notice and focused on what I had to do next. Inch by inch I lifted my body up a little so my bottom would move further and further away from the railing. I couldn’t keep my eyes focused anymore. I started to look around, look behind me, as if there were someone behind me, watching my every move. I felt like a criminal just about to commit another crime. My eyes were darting everywhere, everywhere but down. I knew I couldn’t continue if I looked down. I looked up again. What a clear sky. How ironic.
The trembling in my hands subsided. However my bottom was starting to go numb at this point. My elbows bent a little, as if storing energy for one last push. I took another deep breath. I tried to put my feet near the wall so I could use them to propel myself further away as well.
“I hope I have another great life” I said to myself, and pushed myself off. Or at least that was what I would have done. I….
I couldn’t hold my pen any longer. The shaking in my hands was getting worse and I could feel my vision getting blurry. There was an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I felt it gnaw its way up my throat and to my mouth. My guts felt like they were tying themselves up and I felt an immerse pain in my body.
I saw a white light and thought to myself for the last time;
“I was always too much of a coward to die by jumping off a building.” before falling to the ground and laying there motionless, undignified as vomit and foam started to pour out of my mouth.
I didn’t want to live this life either way.
Monday, February 9, 2009
FINALLY!
I think my blog has been inactive for damn long already.
IM DAMN LAZY TO BLOG!
Filming's started, will be continuing for the next few weekends, plus I'm working on some other videos currently.
Basically I'll be busy.
Will update with filming photos soon as soon as I get them from yq!
IM DAMN LAZY TO BLOG!
Filming's started, will be continuing for the next few weekends, plus I'm working on some other videos currently.
Basically I'll be busy.
Will update with filming photos soon as soon as I get them from yq!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Update
Think i accidentally deleted some code from my template so it's a little screwed up right now. Will be fixing it soon.
Friday, November 21, 2008
ITS FINALLY
OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!111111
Never thought i'll survive to see this day.
Anyway, updates,
My handphone is spoilt. I went for my class' chalet at Aloha Loyang this wednesday till friday (midnight already so yesterday).
We were planning to have BBQ on first day but seeing dark clouds we decided to have the steamboat first, and while trying to take self timer shots of the class, my hp fell and it's LCD screen showed lines and blue colour screen ever since.
So no photos for this entry...
Anyhow, had a lot of fun despite thinking that the chalet was very small and all in the beginning. Chiong-ed lots of mahjong with CK especially.
2nd day was damn chaotic.
We celebrated Jen and BX's birthdays and while the usual spraying and throwing cake around was going on, the BBQ pit caught fire! LOL. The timing couldn't be any better. Luckily the chalet on beside us came to help.
At night, we decided to go night cycling from there to Changi Village. We actually went to buy the street directory from downtown east first, before realising that there was a bicycle path!
So basically we followed the bicycle path for about 6-7km and reached there, and saw quite a few bapoks. All of them were damn tall you know?
The bicycle formation was like this;
Timothy-Cyril-Me-Jenmey/Hwee Boon/Jing Ni-Gab/Loon Yuan/John
Oh right, and we cycled to Old Changi Hospital also. But after we reached the main gates, we stared up the long flight of eery stairs and decided we were humji.
On the way back, got stopped by a police road block and by the time we were done, we arrived back at Loyang at 4am or so.
Knock out immediately after returning.
The next day, we cleaned up, and went back, before having lunch at white sands.
But that was not the end...no...we decided to go to Gab's house and watched Hansel and Grettel before finally going home.
Thanks to JN's dad for driving me and CK to the mrt station.
And i guess that's all for my big update!
A LEVELS IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
oh and i bought a new graphics card. :D
Never thought i'll survive to see this day.
Anyway, updates,
My handphone is spoilt. I went for my class' chalet at Aloha Loyang this wednesday till friday (midnight already so yesterday).
We were planning to have BBQ on first day but seeing dark clouds we decided to have the steamboat first, and while trying to take self timer shots of the class, my hp fell and it's LCD screen showed lines and blue colour screen ever since.
So no photos for this entry...
Anyhow, had a lot of fun despite thinking that the chalet was very small and all in the beginning. Chiong-ed lots of mahjong with CK especially.
2nd day was damn chaotic.
We celebrated Jen and BX's birthdays and while the usual spraying and throwing cake around was going on, the BBQ pit caught fire! LOL. The timing couldn't be any better. Luckily the chalet on beside us came to help.
At night, we decided to go night cycling from there to Changi Village. We actually went to buy the street directory from downtown east first, before realising that there was a bicycle path!
So basically we followed the bicycle path for about 6-7km and reached there, and saw quite a few bapoks. All of them were damn tall you know?
The bicycle formation was like this;
Timothy-Cyril-Me-Jenmey/Hwee Boon/Jing Ni-Gab/Loon Yuan/John
Oh right, and we cycled to Old Changi Hospital also. But after we reached the main gates, we stared up the long flight of eery stairs and decided we were humji.
On the way back, got stopped by a police road block and by the time we were done, we arrived back at Loyang at 4am or so.
Knock out immediately after returning.
The next day, we cleaned up, and went back, before having lunch at white sands.
But that was not the end...no...we decided to go to Gab's house and watched Hansel and Grettel before finally going home.
Thanks to JN's dad for driving me and CK to the mrt station.
And i guess that's all for my big update!
A LEVELS IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
oh and i bought a new graphics card. :D
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Sakae Sushi
The last time we had the steamboat at my place, paul couldn't make it. This time, because of a miracle i guess, paul could make it, so decided to go to sakae sushi to have lunch/dinner there.
You see, you can eat, but you never take anything from the belt! You take from belt not counted into the computer! Like that how we know we earn them how much??
-Soe Min
So I think we ended up earning about 10 bucks i guess? Not considering how much sakae is already earning from us la...
The day after, taekwon-do guys decided to to have dinner at KFC.
The two black belts in NS
I guess that's about all. I'm feeling hungry.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Steamboat with buddies
Kah Kin, Darence, Zheng Wei, Soe Min and Ying Quan came over for steamboat at my place yesterday.
The bastard Paul lazy didn't want to come though.
Anyway, Soe Min and bastard zheng wei helped to buy the food in the afternoon with me and my mum and we sort of bought a little bit too much food...
It's a mixture of green tea and....
My lunch today; a mountain of hokkien mee...
I realise I only blog when i have pictures i wanna show.
The bastard Paul lazy didn't want to come though.
Anyway, Soe Min and bastard zheng wei helped to buy the food in the afternoon with me and my mum and we sort of bought a little bit too much food...
It's a mixture of green tea and....
... Johnnie Walker!!
My lunch today; a mountain of hokkien mee...
I realise I only blog when i have pictures i wanna show.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
National Day Dinner and hoots
Went to the Frontier CC near my place for a National Day Dinner (It was way after national day already btw), and my cousins came over to visit.
Only then i realised that my cousins didn't know each other at all... since they are from my dad and mum's side. Nicholas was asking me the guy beside me "is your neighbour ah"? Laugh like shit I tell you once i heard that.
Anyway, the place was damn hot. Met Ying Quan there also.
So anyway, Nicholas and Alicia stayed over at my place for the weekend.
Finally, I bought my mouse and pad yesterday from Sim Lim. Thanks Kah Kin!
Did you even know there was such a brand?
The lazy man's dinner. Cambell's Soup with egg and whatever I could find in the fridge.
Loving the mouse and pad!Monday, August 11, 2008
While studying...
We were damn bored while studying...
(PS: Your spectacles were too tempting already)
(PS: Your spectacles were too tempting already)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Talentime DVD
Finished doing the DVD cover for Talentime DVD...
It's a special order so im making a special effort to make it look good.
Cheers...
It's a special order so im making a special effort to make it look good.
Cheers...
Sunday, July 20, 2008
ipork nano
Forgot to mention that my ipod nano arrived last wednesday.
The apple shipping was very efficient, being able to confirm for shipping my nano the next day when i ordered it from the store at 1am on tuesday.
I was kinda expecting them to deliver it on thursday or friday but a lady called up on wednesday telling me it will arrive from 8.30pm -10pm. It arrived a little late at 10plus, but i was still quite happy with it nevertheless la.
Wasn't expecting myself to be wowed by the small 2-inch screen, but I did, because it looked so sharp and colours were great. I was searching for video convertors for my nano almost right after that...
Anyway, enough talk, pictures.
The apple shipping was very efficient, being able to confirm for shipping my nano the next day when i ordered it from the store at 1am on tuesday.
I was kinda expecting them to deliver it on thursday or friday but a lady called up on wednesday telling me it will arrive from 8.30pm -10pm. It arrived a little late at 10plus, but i was still quite happy with it nevertheless la.
Wasn't expecting myself to be wowed by the small 2-inch screen, but I did, because it looked so sharp and colours were great. I was searching for video convertors for my nano almost right after that...
Anyway, enough talk, pictures.
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